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This CEO Allows Employees to Watch Porn at Work - But Only if it Features his Favourite Pornstar

RPT systems - a software company based in Tamworth - has done a 180 degree turn on its strict “no pornography during working hours” policy. As of this week, employees will be permitted to take breaks in order to browse their favourite adult websites.


“I’m a bit of a student of workplace psychology. As a boss I want to get best out of my staff. And I’ve come to the conclusion the lubricant for this is a bit of good old fashioned porn.” Edmund Washman, CEO of RPT told us.


There is one caveat, however. Washman mentioned that only videos starring his favourite porn actress, Chlamanda Brasize, are subject to the new company policy.


“I chose Chlamanda because she appeals to a wide demographic. It’s not just penis-in-vagina let’s-all-yawn-ourselves-to-boregasm like some of these new actresses.


Chlamanda does it all. Straight, gay, oral, anal (...) bondage, and my favourite, the one where she does Deal or No Deal but there’s a naked Noel Edmonds in every box.”


“I’ve crunched the numbers if you don’t believe me. You see Ricardo over there, he can increase his output by 10% by watching just 5 minutes of anal penetration each day!


Or Gemma. The code she’s writing had some bugs in it and she just couldn’t figure out what she’d done wrong. I called a team meeting and put on ‘Darren Darren - Hung Like the Wolf’. I even brought in the sign language interpreter for Chris.”


We asked what happened with Gemma’s code.


“Well she hasn’t got round to fixing it yet. She’s really taken to watching porn at work, so she’s mainly been doing that. But when she’s ready I can’t wait to see the effects.”


Washman says that he’s also considering replacing the company’s weekly ‘welfare tea and biscuits’ with ‘welfare tea and voyeurism’. A true innovator. CEOs take note.


Productive. Some employees have really taken to the new company policy.