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Roger Daltrey At The Royal Albert Hall: An Objective Review Despite His Pleasuring My Wife

Updated: Feb 7, 2019

Rock and Roll! My hero Roger!

As a lifelong fan of The Who, the revelation that Roger Daltrey would be performing at the Royal Albert Hall filled the teenager in me with joy. I knew it would be a night that I had to attend.

Roger didn't disappoint. Hit after seventies rock hit belted out across the magnificent Victorian splendour of the Royal Albert Hall as The Who frontman captivated the crowd with the energy of a man half his age.

In spite of the growing cramps in my gut and increasing flatulence (from what I did not realise at the time was undercooked tapas from a charming South Ken restaurant), I cried tears of joy between the cold sweats watching Roger recreate the soundtrack of my younger years.

The night truly reached its apex as soon as the opening riff of 'Won’t Get Fooled Again’ rippled across the hall, sending the crowd and myself into an absolute frenzy.

The vibrations seemed to be so strong however that my back passage, which I had been keeping tightly clenched throughout the performance, suddenly relaxed.

Known worldwide for its acoustics, even the toilets of the Royal Albert Hall let me hear every chord of Rog's guitar perfectly!

What ensued was a mad scramble to the nearest possible restroom, where luckily I was still able to appreciate the extended guitar solo from the privacy of my cubicle.

Returning to the stands as the encore was getting into swing, the energy of the crowd somehow reached even greater heights as the legendary keyboard opening of ‘Baba O’Reilly’ charged through the hall like lightning.

My bowels relieved I geared up for what I knew would be an incredible climax, only to see Roger giving my wife Susanne an even greater one on stage.

My initial confusion as to how Susanne, my better half of 43 years, had moved from her spot in seat G45 next to me at the rear of the hall, to the stage, in the time it took to eject £27 worth of tapas, was overtaken by the crushing pain of watching forty years together torn apart by Roger’s dexterous fingers.

In many ways, it is not surprising that an accomplished musician of Daltrey’s calibre is so skilled with his hands, nor the fact that he perfectly timed his love-making to my wife with the crescendo of the ballad.

I know Susanne had a wonderful evening and all things considered I would be lying if I told you I didn’t. The Who had a defining impact on my childhood and I find it touching that they still have one today.

I know my own children will be impacted by the upcoming custody battle over a painful and bitter divorce.

Thanks Rog!


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