God Dreading When Mike Pence Dies Because He'll Have To Meet Him

Updated: Feb 17, 2019


Oh gee, he doesn't even realise he's heading down not up.

A leaked report from Heaven has emerged claiming that God is dreading the death of US Vice-President Mike Pence as he will finally have to meet him.


God explained, "Jesus Christ. It's going to be so awkward. The guy worships me all the time but he's the worst Christian ever and he doesn't even realise it. I know normally St Peter would be the guy to explain he ain't getting in, but Mike will kick up such a fuss I know I'll have to trek over to the pearly gates and lay it all out for him."


While many of God's advisers have pointed out that the almighty creator won't have to spend the rest of eternity with Pence, the brief interaction they will share before he is sent to hell has caused the Holy Father great anxiety.


God pointed out, "This isn't the Trump administration. Heaven's constitution was pretty rigidly laid down over a very long period of time by hundreds of authors who mostly disagreed with each other, and we stick to it rigidly."


The Archangel Gabriel also pointed out that, "You don't exactly have to be omniscient to see where this is going. But then again, some of the gay couples who go to our board game nights met at one of his conversion camps, so I suppose he's not all bad."


When contacted for comment, the Vice-President's office responded, "Every non-white Anglo-American christian Mike Pence crushes brings him one step closer that final meeting with our Lord and Saviour".

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