What Is This ‘Fleshlight’ You Speak Of? Asks Intrigued Man

Updated: Feb 28, 2019


55 year-old accountant Jonathan Crow has recently stumbled upon a revelation. During his lunch break yesterday, he happened to overhear a conversation on the table next to him, between some of his younger colleagues.


“We saw him perk up like a curious little meerkat,” commented Travis, an intern. “I was just chatting about random stuff with the guys at lunch, as you do, then Jonathan decided to come over and sit with us - which was a bit odd because usually he never speaks to anyone else.”


Jonathan told us that “they were speaking about some sort of device. Shaped like a torch, but you better believe it’s not used for illumination. Oh no. Something better. Much better.”


“Usually I ignore those young punks. And everyone else at the office. But you understand why this time, I had to make an exception. We’ve all toyed with the idea of sticking our Johnsons inside a torch, sure. But now, the dream can become a reality. When they invent this thing I want to be the first one with my hands on it.”


Jonathan also added that he’s sketched out some blueprints and will get to work on his own fleshlight in his shed, this weekend. Great to see him doing some DIY - truly a dying art.

Jonathan's blueprints.

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