Tinder Bios Guaranteed to Get You Laid

You’ve been swiping away all evening but those matches just aren’t coming in. With your search radius now set to 100+ miles and an age filter including those old enough to be your grandmother (who by this point you’ve stopped ruling out as a backup option), you’ve still been getting no luck. What is wrong with all these women huh? Well don’t give up just yet. We’ve put together some tinder bios that’ll definitely increase your success with the opposite sex.


“Tinder? What is this, a campfire?”

An instant classic. Make sure your phone is fully charged for the incoming surge of matches.


“No girls under 6 ft pls”

That’s right, throw this one right back at them!


“No girls over 6ft pls”

Always play both sides.


“Please return to: [insert address]”

Hang on, are you a person or a undelivered letter? I guess I’ll just have to swipe and find out, wouldn’t want someone missing out on a birthday card.


“I’d put my dick pic in the bio but it probably wouldn’t fit”

You can’t put images in the bio silly! An excellent joke to break the ice, whilst subtly hinting at the fact your penis is (probably) longer than 500 characters. Well played sir.


“Oh bugger off Linda!”

This one’s in case your wife Linda tries to superlike you again. God she’s desperate.


“Great sexer”

Cut to the chase. This one oozes confidence and sex appeal.


“My car has broken down on the M25, please alert the AA”

This line works great if your car has just broken down on the M25 and need some assistance.


  • White Facebook Icon
  • White Instagram Icon
"They laughed in our faces when we asked for a six digit hit-counter"

© 2023 by TheHours. Proudly created with Wix.com