top of page

Peter Regrets Rejecting Jesus 3 Times as Search for Valentine’s Day Date Continues

Saint and former apostle, Peter (previously Simon), has finally spoken up about his private life. The Galilean claims to have been single for around 2000 years now and admits he may have made a mistake when saying no to Jesus all those years ago.


“I just had a really big ego at the time” Peter told us, “I just wanted more. Thought I could do even better than the Messiah.”


“If I’d been asked again, of course I’d say yes. Definitely by the third time at least. I guess hindsight is a wonderful thing.”


When Jesus saw Peter’s comments he had this to say:


“It was a real kick in the teeth. You think you know a guy, you share your body with him, and he just flat out rejects you. It made me feel really unwanted at the time. I don’t think I could ever be with Peter. Maybe just as friends.”


With Valentine’s Day coming up, Peter says he is particularly keen on finding someone to get close with. We wish him all the best in his endeavours. He just needs to have a little faith.


The Saint just wants someone he can be sinful with

bottom of page