In a remarkable turn of events, it was confirmed today that die-hard top gear fan Chris Jonson, known as CJ to his 'boys at the club', is in fact a complete cunt.
People who knew him were shocked to discover that a man who had supported Clarkson through many of his less admirable moments, such as the time he punched a producer, or the time he said the n-word whilst singing a racist nursery rhyme, or the time he insulted the entirety of Mexican culture, or the time he called an Asian man a "slope", or the time he deliberately antagonised the entire Argentine nation for no reason, was also surprisingly a total dickhead himself.
This was particularly surprising to his wife, Ursula, who said, "I mean I always knew he was a bit of a boys-boy, but what I didn't realise was that this actually just meant he was an immature 40 year old with no sense of empathy and a tiny penis. Well, I didn't know about the immaturity and lack of empathy. I've known about the penis thing for a while."
When asked for comment, Chris Jonson called our reporter an "incel cuck" and returned to grunting approvingly at Nigel Farage talking on LBC.