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I Spent a Day at a Kids Pool Trying to Make Some New Friends

Updated: Feb 7, 2019

My name is Beric Spetty and I’m a journalist at The Toot. Back when I was a child, I remember some of my fondest memories came in the summer, when every day I’d go down to my local outdoor pool. I’d meet up with my mates from school, and we’d mess around with each other until it got dark.

Sadly now, in this age of social media and anal bleaching, you don’t really see people doing that anymore. Last week I was fortunate enough to be able to take a trip back to my roots and pay Busbury Road Children’s Swimming Club a visit.

Right from the onset, I felt a something was a little different, a little off. Before I was allowed to enter I had to go through a security check - something that didn’t happen to me as a kid back in the 80’s. I was put back at ease however when the guard started joking around with me.

“Adults aren’t allowed in, unless they are accompanying their children. Which of these kids are yours?” he asked me. I chuckled politely, but after he was refusing to let me in I realised I should joke back. “There’s my special little guy” I said pointing at some toddler, and went through to the pool.

One of the things I loved most about this pool was being able to make new friends every day. Again, something just didn’t sit quite right with me this time. Every kid I tried to approach simply wasn’t giving me anything back. I even brought back some classic pranks like splashing people right in their faces or kicking them in off the side of the pool.

The conversations I did manage to get started didn’t last very long. No one seemed interested in my new startup idea or former startup ideas.

I was running out of options when I remembered I had some MAOAM in my bag. I started sharing them out and was finally beginning to get some attention - attention that unfortunately was also coming from some of the parents.

I just hate when they try to get involved. I shouted "parents suck!" and began to swim away. Sadly none of the children followed apart from a little boy named Yevgeny, but it turned out he only wanted his armbands back. Gone are the days of kids rising up against the tyrannous adult rule.

It was an eye-opening and disappointing day. I was fortunate that the pool water managed to mask my tears. Nothing however could suppress my desperate wailing. Not even the horrified screams of the parents as I got changed by the side of the pool.

I do not lose faith, however. Next week I may go by the skate park. Or hang around the monkey bars.

I stuck around for a while afterwards hoping someone would come back for me, but to no avail


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