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Are You Gym Bros or Toned Silverbacks with Emotional Processing Issues?

Updated: Feb 2, 2019



Have you been 'mirin Tom's sweating pelvis from across the room? Trade dumbbells for dumbbromance by taking the quiz below:


1. Do horrific bro jokes and memes compensate for the hollowness you feel when Tom isn't spotting you?


2. Are you so institutionalised by the gym that the only escape would be to go the same way as Brooks in the Shawshank Redemption? (Brooks left a delightful wall carving before hanging himself, by the way.)


3. Do you use the term 'bro' more than zero times a day?


4. Do you secretly want to put your penis inside your ‘bro’?


5. Do you use bench jokes to be competitive and try to out alpha each other when in fact no one cares?


6. Do you feel a sense of crippling emotional isolation every time you cry into your scented bath while Nickelback's “How You Remind Me” gently plays in the background, because you're just thinking of Tom’s rippling abs, their chiselled sheen glistening in the sunlight?