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Bernie Sanders Won’t Watch the Oscars Because He Is “Too Busy Giving His Wife a Good Romping”

Updated: Feb 24, 2019

With the Oscars looming, we’ve been interviewing celebrities, asking them for their opinions and predictions on this year’s biggest blockbusters and best acting performances.


We managed to get hold of Senator Bernie Sanders, who told us he won’t be watching the controversial award ceremony this year.


“The Oscars? If that’s on any time after 6pm then no can do. I dedicate that time solely to my wonderful wife.”


When asked if he had any favourite films or actors he’d like to see do well nonetheless, he said he was indifferent.


“Frankly, I don’t give a fuck. I don’t have time for films and all that silly shit. When I’m not out campaigning, I’m at home pounding my wife. On the kitchen counter, or in the conservatory so the neighbours can see. How’s that for a ceremony.”


We also tried to find out what Sanders thought about the hosting situation this year.


“I can go for hours. Just raw, non-stop banging. We’re like animals, the two of us. Sometimes we get real crazy, so crazy I can’t even look my wife in the eye afterwards. So I just go at her from behind. I could probably teach you a lesson or two you schmuck.”


An original and very brave take on this year’s Oscars from the Senator.


Sanders admits he's not much of a film buff, but is always up for a bit of "lust and thrust"