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RUSSELL COWARD

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LIFE ON MARS BARS

Largely the same as the original gritty drama but with more grit, now Sam Tyler must face the same crimes but with an addiction to Mars Bars. The worst part? Mars Bars tasted completely different in 1973.

Haunted by the spectre of Philip Larkin, who continually whipped him during his sleep, Alfonso Cuaron sets out to bring life to a city previously largely ignored by the film community.

Bedsit DUP of Cards is the stunning real story of Arlene Foster's rise from a wee urchin from Conachail to become the Iron Lady.

Trending Now in Slough

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Tyler Durden takes his anarchic kite skills to the next level in 'Kite Club'- rejecting today's consumerist society of games where people play indoors and don't get out enough anymore.

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When a Fringe performance in Edinburgh upsets the wrong Yakuza, every minute counts as Bill Bailey fights for his life in a North of the UK-trotting adventure showcasing stunning Aberdeen tea rooms.

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When an Oval Office blowjob upsets the wrong Republicans, every minute counts as Bill Clinton fights for his presidency in a north of DC-trotting adventure showcasing stunning abuses of power against a 20-year old woman.

TOOTFLIX ORIGINIALS

Blinded at a young age to the concept of supporting the poor, Prime Minister by day Theresa May spend her nights hunting anyone north of Gateshead stupid enough to visit a food bank and get lost in a field of wheat.

YOUR DAD

LIVE AT WEMBLEY

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Everyone and their cat has a comedy special now, but I bet you didn't expect your old man to make it big! A night of love, laughs and questionable opinions on the LGBTQ community

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Oh my God, because you are so good I am very sorry for having sinned against you and by the help of your grace I shall try not to sin again. Amen.

Binge-Worthy True Crime You Sick Twisted B******d

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He was a happy-go-lucky drifter who found himself in a charming Connecticut town. They were some wholesome gals who didn't realise that even small towns can make big news!

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Never before shown material reveals the startling lengths Queen Elizabeth went to in ensuring Diana would have a bloody awful time in Paris

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Lindsey Lohan returns as the adorable twins Allie and Hallie praising the Trump administration's policy to separate kids from their parents. 2* The Guardian.

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Award-Losing British Productions

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When news that a bloody foreigner is causing a ruckus in town reaches Philip, it's time to take matters into his own hands with an army of Range Rovers to back him.

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If balancing a love life, career and baby wasn't hard enough for Bridget, a bout of chronic diarrhea is the last thing on this girl's mind in a heartwarming tale about powering through anything!

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Noel Edmonds is up to his old tricks! By which we mean pointing a gun in the face of those unlucky enough to cross him and screaming "Deal Or No Deal!!"

Laughless Comedies

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Ted was in love. Then his one true love cheated on him. Enjoy 9 seasons of middling to average polite laughter as Ted recounts to his children the pain and heartbreak that has become his lonely life.

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Rowan Atkinson is back working undercover at a greasy spoon in Tottenham. Only he can save the day by falsifying records when a surprise visit by a Health and Safety inspector threatens to compromise his mission.

Louis C.K. invites viewers to glimpse into the worlds of individuals and groups on the fringes of society, before wanking on all of them.

Inspiring Tales

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Confused for a monster of a normal size, Mike Wazowski seeks restitution for the theft of his contact lenses and won't stop till he finds them.

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Running a dodgy market stall might look easy, but these Yemeni salesmen make it an art form with bombs, famine and giggles galore.

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No patio is too challenging a landscape project for this couple!

Date Night

RUSSELL COWARD

LIVE FROM

THE HOSPICE

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Live from St Martin's Hospice in Clapham, Russell Coward delivers a tour-de-force of obvious comedic observations to provide a form of euthanasia far more potent than any injection.

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The BBC darlings of Operation Yewtree compete from prison and hell to make it back to freedom- but who will triumph for a prize of living within 500 feet of a primary school?

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Live from Belmarsh Prison, enjoy a hilarious evening of Dec visiting Ant in prison with a lukewarm kebab and a tepid can of Fanta.

US Box-Office Flops

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We're terrified. Of all the images on here this required the least photoshop editing. That man is the President of the free world. Jesus Christ. If a Democrat doesn't take back the White House in 2020 I'm going to kill myself. Or move to the Outer Herbrides. Either way we're terrified.

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Sick of watching the natural world from afar. David Attenborough takes it upon himself to hunt the deadliest's predators on the planet. If #metoo was the bait, David is one deadly trap.